You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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