I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
