new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We need to get me chipped asap
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