Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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