Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
