hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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