whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
