As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
