I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She told me I should be a condom model.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
