I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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