you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
