is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
