It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
