If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
