I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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