We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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