Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
