He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize