i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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