im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
