physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
