I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
