i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
