remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There's always time for handjobs
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
