Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
