that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The Olympian is in my bed
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
