I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
