i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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