If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
As shirtless as possible
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
