when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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