Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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