Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
