apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
