About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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