I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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