I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize