I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
