Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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