do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
