ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
