Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
