All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
