please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
