Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
