Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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