Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
