You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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