You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
