i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
