Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
