For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Oh god it's open bar.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
